The Disciple

Lamentable how I idolized you

Sort of worship your ways

Wanted to emulate speech patterns 

So bad, I’d forget the sound of my voice

Words you spewed became laws

And I enforced them defiantly on myself

Til scars became stronger than flesh

I detested my reality

Cause yours was truth… Wasn’t it?…

Wouldn’t chew until you sat and ate

No need to say grace in your presence

God couldn’t hold a candle next to you

And Satan trembled at the mention of your name

I became a disciple 

Renouncing self

Removing attachment and possession

Sun rising and setting for you

I was foolishly happy

Lost but found 

Where others would try to stifle your actions

I’d brush it off with zeal

For the epitome of beauty and truth you were

Weren’t you?

I crawled like believers in Tibet

To reach your throne

Only to be dispatched away

Leaving me like most that follow 

And hold faith 

Crumpled in submission

I claimed me

Absent from your tyranny 

I regenerated self 

The instrument of perception guided 

And I danced in its example 

Where eyes opened

And acceptance ensued 

Though alone I finally felt repose.

copyright ©Axel Garcia

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