How can one know
The difference
Reality blurred
Lines covered.
I have seemed
To lose myself
In rubbles of
Uncertainty
I can easily
Blame you/them
Identify as
Victim or anti
Hero, human.
Where passion
Eludes me
Sun no longer felt;
Not burning
Words hurting
More than ever
Ripping synapses
Before reaching thought.
I am clouded
Sleep and dream
Squinted.
There is the pain
Left behind
Which beckons to be
Acknowledged
This
And only this
Is true.
Many words left unsaid
How I wished to have had the courage to say
Choosing between the “right way”
The “best way”
Only lead to knots in my throat
So I’ll scream it out loud
Now that I am no longer heard
Basking in the beyond or in the middle
Peering up or down
I proclaim with vigor in my veins
You were the ever in everything
And with baited breath I professed
SILENCE
This silence wells my eyes
Inside the screaming
Never subsides
I wish to explain it all away
This, to be that, and so on
But birthing a thing
Gives light to its adverse
Oh… what shall I do
When my chest hurts in naivety
These bones cry with realities
As I stand painted smiles on the outside
The foundation crumbles
The fables no longer holding weight
The safety of childish years
Eradicates my joy
We push, and toil onwards
To where? Destinations darkness
I try desperately to remember before this time
To no avail
And once there, will I recall here?
In this I shall also fail … I presume
But, what if I want out of this enclosure ?
A break in its wall
Watch it all fall
Would it bring me the wonder of it all?
Ah… so many questions
As the one who holds the answers
Lays dormant and watches
As the silence and I become one in the same
IN THE BEGINNING
Your breath birthed life into the ashes of me
While the stars shined down annunaki
Tablets carved in Sumerian lands
Carried out of caves by Moses hands
We braved floods on wooden arks
While the fires of Kukulkan barked
Atabey sat in meditations
Siddhartha bathed in her libations
From Elegbas jicaras
And Shivas palms
I took a ride in Ezekiels wheel
Master Fard did reveal
Yahs ultimate plan
The holes in Isas hand
And in Shaytans deceptions
Yacubs grafted creations
17 million plus 2 million in North American total
Dancing to tamobores y coro
The tower brought confusion
In my soul divine wisdom
As above so below
I offer salat and Ochosis arrow and bow
A burning bush and a voice over Damascus
A warrior, shepherd, and pacifist
Young lord and Albizu
Rumi, Watts, Elijah, y Sankara, too
Hecho con todo amor y guerrilla
God of war, mixed con alegria
As such am I from the beginning
Rocket ship to nebula as I sing
Tocando bata a Eggun
A mi Papa, te veo… soon
AseO ✊🏼
Would it make things easier
For you?…
If I told you that I’m hurting
Also…
That demons torture me
Daily!
I think it’s best to continue playing
Unscarred.
Better for you and your tears to envision
Winning.
So I’ll bask in my own hell in order to soothe
Yours…
Asking every second, when will it end
To myself…
As I build you up, lying to you
About…
How splendid it all is, don’t you see?
I can’t …
When no one hears my cries…
Tell me!
Just to keep smiling beloved keep…
Smiling…. crookedly
I know what pain looks like
I know the tears that come from bloodshed
I know the heartache of loving and losing
I know the scratches that show up from bended knees at pulpits
I know the dark marks that are seen on prostrated foreheads
I know the scars that are carried by paleros
I know the blood trickle from the heads of santeros
I know vaguely the tranquil state of monks
I know sadly the wickedness of man
I know… which is why I hurt
Hurt
©Axel Garcia
Puerto Rico Eres Tu
(Para Mi Papa)
Parade winds
Remind me of you, Pa
The crackling of conga skins
Drenching the shirts I still own of yours, Pa
Que Isla Tan Bonita
Flags waving your silhouette forevermore, Pa
Eres el orgullo que tengo en mis venas
Saludo tu memoria cada mañana
My land is your outstretched arms holding me
Pa
I want to kiss every part of my Island
Porque respira con la sangre de mi Papa
Todavía puedo sentirte
El calor de tu aliento en las palmas de coco
Este dia es para ti
Puerto Rico eres tu
Y siempre te amare! Pa
Must it be said?
I see those tears
Washing away what they did
Wish me a better man
So as to exact revenge
But
Guilty I stand as well
Words that cut like swords
I no longer want to defend
Such is the end
When hurt turns to pleasure
Must you know?
That I’m ready
We are all participants
In the trampling
Such is the end
I promise to hold both your hands
As I watch you plan your escape
I won’t blame you
I won’t hold you back
It’s okay…
A poem with no name.
I’ll leave it here for you…
She says
I don’t look like me anymore
That the hunch in my back is more pronounced
Sunken, was the word she used
She says
my scars are in trenched deeper
Revealing my truer nature
She says
the cuadro espiritual that surrounds
My aura is too blinding with its brilliant hues
For her black and white ways
For she says she carries the blessing of Issa
Yeshua came to her in a misa
Blowing smoke in her face de el cigarro
Agua Ardiente balanced perfectly
In the other hand
Now replaced by the wine
But me
She says
No longer holds the blessing of the father
Like the baptismal waters drowning
The sins of her past
I am not worthy of her love
For she now is bonded by a holier spirit
His preaching more attractive than mine
His Gods holding more promise than mine
My devotions make her cringe with remorse
Of the times we’ve shared together
She says
that only his blood cleans away
The prints of my love off her body
Like holy water in an exorcism
So I wait in the shadows
Like the cypher of Lu
Wanting to shatter her doubts
Because though
She says
What she says
Her spirit still calls out to me
In the far reaches of her soul
Where only I can ever exist
Crossroads
I flirt with the end
Balance beam everything
So I can feel Grace
It’s shame and blessing
Of exclusivity and at once excluding
A Child of crossroads
Playing hide and seek
This way or that
Loving and despising
The tightrope
Choking what is left and right
Closing my eyes
To recall the thrill
Of it all
The ease of which I bring
Sweet Suffering
To my doorstep
And to speak of boundless joy
I only toggle in its surrender
#newpoem #poetry
Axel Garcia 