Since You

My heart is yours

It has no use without you around anymore 

Please take it

These eyes are for you

As I do not wish to see anything but thee

Nothing else matters

I am just a void now

Empty

Shallow breaths barely filling my lungs

Air has no use

And only prolongs my being 

I sleep awaiting forever

Only to open eyes

To brighter sunlight 

I do not seek to darken the sky

For it still illuminates your world 

Wherever that may be

Be it the next town 

Or a million miles from me 

Take my sense of touch away

I have no purpose but to remember 

That feel of your skin 

I am comforted with this knowledge

Sacrifice what’s left of me 

To dirt or ash 

Coffin or urn 

Washed away in waters deep

Or flames to burn 

Let them preserve a locket

For you to carry

Or throw away 

There is nothing 

Since you 

Not Enough

I’ve never fit in

My spot never chosen

Not Spanish enough to move my hips easily 

Nor American enough to step on others to rise

Too militant 

Yet not suffered enough to raise fists 

Not white enough even when rocking to Metal

Roots not African enough to proclaim ancestry

My DNA is as scattered as my thoughts

Ask me who I am

I’ll say one thing and disagree with myself 

Neither this nor the other 

Not Muslim enough to Habibi 

Not Christian enough to feel the Holy Spirit 

Not Taino enough to darken my skin 

Not animal enough to kill

Not human enough to care 

Not covered enough in tattoos

Not paid enough to afford my bills

Not educated enough to be allowed formulated opinions

You leave me boxed in

Cornered as a hunted beast 

Who every now and then reacts 

Attacks 

And blamed for doing so

Don’t even want to step outside

Not worthy enough to walk

Shouldn’t even write

Not accepted enough to be cool with the click

I stand just on the cusp 

Peaking my head in ever so often 

Shouldn’t be alive 

Not worthy of breath 

Someone else needs it more

Don’t want to see anymore 

Vision I’d give to the blind immediately 

I could say I’ve lost my way

If there was ever one to be lost 

So I’ll remain

Until I fade from memory 

And be just a whisper to some 

Lost

I have searched for you

In the darkness of my soul

Feeding it’s hue words and ritual

Movements memorized

Til the hurt in my bones 

Was no more

Pronunciations perfected

So that my very tongue 

Won’t lie on that sacred day

Witnesses are the winds, and trees

As to all that I proclaim 

I awaken

Within this dream

Once more 

Hoping I’d travelled over 

To you

So much that the “Good” in morning

Ceased to be

And acceptance is, all there is 

My knees no longer can withstand

The weight of proving 

Of hoping

And believing 

I have only breath

Left

This is my testimony 

Being illuminated in the illusive 

Where inhalation 

Closes my eyes

And exhalation loosens 

The burden 

I am surely lost

And in you 

Found