I will admit, I’m missing you
Master Isa (Jesus) said once, “let he who is without sin cast the first stone.” I laugh when I see so many act like they’re clean when you have five baby mothers, cheating on wives and husbands, dead beat fathers who haven’t taken care of their own kids. Liars that truly believe their own BS, ego centric a**holes that think people like them, while in reality you’re hated. Stop hiding behind the veil and be accountable! Set yourself free from the pile of lies that way you down! #realtalk
There’s this darkened cloud above your words
Downtown Train
For hours I have anticipated catching you
Looking up departure times online
I find myself drifting with the hopes of where you will take me
I know our ride always ends quick
Far too fast for me to savor the movements we partake of
Stop after stop flies by like a blur
Leaving imprints behind
Your doors shut abruptly over and over
As if you were a scorned lover
Light and dark track your shadows constantly
In and out of tunnels we go
Bridges we cross and wave goodbye
I don’t dare drown you out with earphones filled with music
The roaring of your motions plays like a melody in my ears
How perfect this affair we carry
Where screeching and passionate collide
You bring me to my stop with furious precision
Cold like you slam shut the doors to your warmth inside
And time after time I find myself standing out in the cold
Surprised to feel sad and satisfied at the same time
I watch you run from me
To the next destination
How you remind me of my past lovers
My downtown train…
copyright ©Axel Garcia
For a little while I felt you
Warm kisses like sunlit spring afternoons
I realized you were attainable
That for a moment you appeared before me
Dressed in the stars of heaven
Brightly you bought a smile to my frowned lips
I didn’t need to reminisce
When I held you
Pocketful of beach sand
I squeezed til there was no more
And then it came
The snapshot of yesterday
The vivid clamor of hurts
I withdrew into the habitual
Pointed fingers back at you
And didn’t want to accept
That such a thing be true
And that it could be you
For a little while I felt you
And it’s all I will ever need
copyright ©Axel Garcia
I pray for you, I do
As I let you go
For these chains built around my wrists squeezed so hard that it became veins
The ones that pumped life into its dysfunction
To the point of consumption
I gasped for air when I pulled you off
Umbilical like you clung for life
And I fed its survival
Til the blood that trickled down my fists blended with the flush on my face
How I pray to erase the memory
The sickening punch in my gut
That hunches my back forward
I still pray for you, I do
That the madness subsides in your mental
Think of what we had as experimental
And scientifically give theory
To others who entertain your thoughts
Drag my name through dirts not yet walked on
And leave footprints on them to recall your steps
Because this road you’ve travelled many times
And shall again… And again
Still I pray for you, I do
No need to delve in the voodoo
No animals to bleed on my altar
I was the sacrifice
I bore your punishment
Crucified I still pray for you, I do
That you may find a semblance of peace…
Not just a piece, the way you seek
Maybe I’ll pray for him
The one who falls victim
To your every whim
Nonetheless
I pray for you… I do….
copyright ©Axel Garcia
Life is truly known only to those who suffer, lose, endure adversity and stumble from defeat to defeat. ~ Anais Nin
And with that I start my new life, and brush off the old.
The last two years have truly been filled with loss and gains. Above all I miss you pop, may you be resting at the side of the Almighty. And this year didn’t want to let go until it hit me with flu like symptoms and a sinus infection… But I am here with arms wide open saying, Bring on a new year, a new life, and greater things to come. 2015 here I come, watch out now!!!!
Axel Garcia 