This pen dastardly disobeys me
By not allowing my heart to write what it wants
Dare I blame it?
It has bore witness to many lies
Has seen its share of bias words
It is my vessel
Be that as it may
I depend on thee
Heavily
To jot down emotions
In detailed disarray
Appeasing this pain in my being
Releasing ink
Like my veins release poison
Do not leave me yet
This pen of mine
Turn your back another day
But not today
For I still have more to tell
Left her glorious toxicant in me
Oh how I prayed that it wouldn’t linger
Visitor of adorned degrees
Evermore punctured by its stinger
copyright ©Axel Garcia
I wish to touch you again
But fear this damage we’ve done
I love enough
To relinquish tarnishing you
And pray you grow as you should
For to pick a rose from the ground
Only ends its life
I shall cease doing so
May waters from another’s heaven
Bring you growth
And nurture your petals
And soils on which you stand
Build foundation in your world
I walk away with your scent
Memories of your texture
On my fingers
The ones that you let go of
I will forever understand
The act of letting go
And with these words
My final goodbye
Lamentable how I idolized you
Sort of worship your ways
Wanted to emulate speech patterns
So bad, I’d forget the sound of my voice
Words you spewed became laws
And I enforced them defiantly on myself
Til scars became stronger than flesh
I detested my reality
Cause yours was truth… Wasn’t it?…
Wouldn’t chew until you sat and ate
No need to say grace in your presence
God couldn’t hold a candle next to you
And Satan trembled at the mention of your name
I became a disciple
Renouncing self
Removing attachment and possession
Sun rising and setting for you
I was foolishly happy
Lost but found
Where others would try to stifle your actions
I’d brush it off with zeal
For the epitome of beauty and truth you were
Weren’t you?
I crawled like believers in Tibet
To reach your throne
Only to be dispatched away
Leaving me like most that follow
And hold faith
Crumpled in submission
I claimed me
Absent from your tyranny
I regenerated self
The instrument of perception guided
And I danced in its example
Where eyes opened
And acceptance ensued
Though alone I finally felt repose.
copyright ©Axel Garcia
Eternal
Lover
You have been mine since your conception
If only you’d have known
My futile search was in vain
My patience tested
For what is to be shall always find its way
I pray
You can forgive my foolish errs
And grant me forever by your side
Battle ready
Our love has endured much
I lay down my arms now beloved
And surrender
The moment you said “I do”
The God smiled upon us
Knighted I felt among your royalty
Entering into this communion
Your kiss the last I shall taste
For I am yours
Eternal
Do not censor me
For My tongue won’t lie on the day of judgement
No matter your persecution
I entered this realm alone
And shall return the same
The lashings on my back from your torment
Will heal into a beautiful design
A lifeline to my future seeds
Who will call upon in need
My fist will still rise up
Even with shoulder crushed
And a cross bearing it’s nails
It will be the ones who came before
Who will lift me
And mount my soul on its throne
And with open cowry shells speak letters
Defining the past present and what’s to come
Life burning like a mystical dragon
Through the spirit of my spirit
No don’t you dare stop my indigenous teachings
Do not try to subdue me
With a false idol that fits your controlling ways
Docile for too long
I fight back with an embraced truth
No don’t you dare censor me
Let me find my niche
I wish my emotions to sit still like Siddhartha
What could I say
I wish we had happily ever after
Axel Garcia 